What Went Wrong
I thought I knew what you were thinking for so long
now I know that I was mistaken
wonder what went wrong
wonder what went wrong now baby
what went wrong
I wonder what went wrong
and how we got along
All my plans for world domination
were premature
you pushed me back to the border
and I'm good and sore
yeah I'm good and sore now baby
that's for sure
tried as a criminal
'cause I lost the war
What went wrong,
what went wrong
Made you into my own creation,
victim of my mind
you don't meet with my expectations,
you don't run on time
and I wonder why now baby
why you even try
you know I wonder why
I take the time
What went wrong,
what went wrong
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She's No Rocket Scientist
Well she's no rocket rocket rocket rocket scientist
but she's just like the Second Law of Thermodynamics
cause when I see her walking by me I wanna do the twist a little bit.
I gotta getta getta getta getta strategy
to communicate the endless possibilities
so we can understand each other we can live in peace and harmony
It's all right yeah baby it's ok hey
cause she's so unaware and I'm so I don't care yare
and that's the secret of my success yes
it's a formula for happiness
but she's no rocket scientist
I'll never figure out what's going on behind those eyes
it may be far beyond my competence to analyze
but it'll take a lot of energy and exercise and school supplies
but still I'm getting so excited about a new romance
though I know she's part human being and part potted plant
and when I meet her at the mall there'll be an avalanche of holding hands
it's too late yeah baby it's too late hay
cause she's so come and go and I'm so I don't know woe
so don't confuse stop confusing me with the facts yaks
cause you know that pretty soon she's gonna get herself a scooby snack
but she's no rocket scientist.
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What's in the Cuckoo Clock?
These words appear in the lyric sheet in place of the actual lyrics. Maybe
one day I or someone else will get around to transcribing the proper words.
Inside a clock, we find, to our surprise, a little toy singer. Assuring us
that he is not a figment of our imagination, he boasts of his ability to
prophesy, indulging in a lighthearted wordplay. Apparently unaware that the
eighties are a closed book, he predicts a decade of joy. Looking more closely,
we see a microcosm of Akron, Ohio, correct to the finest detail. However,
there is a sinister element: unnamed evil entities, with the power to
influence purchasing descisions. We recoil. We urge the singer to reseal the
clock; to put an end to the nightmare. To our chagrin, the plea has come too
late. We must watch helplessly as the seeds of our destruction leap from the
clock to work acts of unspeakable mischief. The singer, exhausted, exhibiting
signs of an impending mental breakdown, demands payment -- which we can ill
afford -- for his services.
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I Don't Get It
There's a picture of a little kid
no one noticed what he did
there's a background just can't remember
what's the point and what's the center
there's this feeling
it's part of who you are
supposed to tear you apart
but I don't get it
and I don't have it
I don't know anything about it
life slides right by me
and I'm like no reaction,
just a shrug and I don't know why
I can't find my
can't imagine
I don't get it
I don't get it
and I'm locked out of Sunday school
and hanging out in the vestibule
and waking up in the crying room
next to you
but that stuff never made any sense
I can't connect and you're not impressed
and when it's back to the present tense
it's meaningless meaningless
there's this picture
it's part of what you are
supposed to tear you apart
but I'm not in it
I'm just out of it
I don't know anything about it
you think through everything
I think no reaction
just a bug
and I don't know why
I can't get through
I don't get it
I don't get it
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Zero
See the people playing the punk game.
Now it's over ain't that a damn shame.
Like a brick that smashed through the window
get a gun and show them what they know.
Zero, that's what it means.
Talk about the girl with the blond hair
wake up one day and she's not there.
There's one looking just like her
but it's the wrong part of the picture
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Pig Latin
Parts in italics are the translations of the pig latin parts.
Lost a lot in college, never got things straight,
I grew up all used up, toys for tots,
it was a pious fiction, now I'm giving you this benediction
aeve one uiie urie ite unuve ue itedtre ime aecle urtde enve ive irve idsce
aune aemve onage etge uiie
I know you, you're the one, I knew when I was young
I'm speaking pig latin, got myself in a jam.
I don't understand.
She speaks ubby dubby, she's so cute and chubby.
hubi frubiends thubis ubis thube ubend isies onage ilce ire elphse isies onage
ecte ime iteruve
Hi friends, this is the end. She's going to kill herself. She's going to
take me with her.
She speaks ubby dubby, she wants to take the blame.
That can be arranged.
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Parasite
You're nothing but a parasite
thorn in my side
and you're bugging me every night
you think that I'll be dumb enough
to pick it up
just so you can suck my blood
but you're not gonna get an answer
I'll let it ring
you don't get a free drink
and you don't get another chance
you're on your own
you don't get to come back on my next show.
Yeah you're a megalomaniac
leader of the pack
with a brain like an almanac
you try to slap me on the back
but you're out of practice
give me a heart attack
and now I'm in intensive care
thanks a lot
thou shalt rue what thou hast wrought
and you don't get another chance
to get it right
cut you out you parasite
so get out you parasite
serves you right.
Now you're gonna step into your role
wise wonderful nice smile kind to animals
but you're not fooling anyone
it's overdone
swiss family robinson
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I'm Breaking Out
I was up all night
she said bay bay bay bay baby what's in your eye
well that's storm
and that's stress
and that's my my my my my migraine I'm such a mess
I see the vultures of doom saying, "Dr. Frank, I presume."
When you presume you make a pres
out of you and me
I guess I can't suppress
every little thing
I can't calm down
I don't know how
I'm breaking out.
Don't touch
don't probe
and lead me not into temptation 'cause I might explode
Don't do anything
cause I'm just way way way way waiting for a tragedy
oo oo what's going on
you don't belong
girls can ride boys bikes
but boys can't ride girls bikes
facts of life and different strokes
are coming on at midnight
I can't calm down,
I'm breaking out,
I don't know how
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So Long, Sucker
You're mean to me
and i'm so sick of it
you can't fire me
cause I'm gonna quit
and I'd just like to say
that you're so lame.
I need to know
that you will always be
the same old someone
that I knew
but I know that you won't
so just go home.
So long, sucker
sucker so long
we'll miss your lies
and your bad advice
and droning on and on.
Bye bye baby
see you in church
see you around
when I'm in town
but not if I see you first.
So long, sucker,
this is the end
we'll miss your lies
and your bad advice
and jokes at your expense
bye bye baby
see you in church
see you around
when I'm in town
but not if I see you first
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A Weekend in Hogboro
This song is instrumental
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Psycho Girl
She held me by the hand
she said don't criticize what you don't understand
she showed me her butcher knife
said it taught her a lot about life.
I'm stuck with the psycho girl
I think I'm gonna get hurt
psycho girl
touch her lose touch with the world
psycho girl psycho girl
she scared me half to death
said she'd die of loneliness
psycho girl had a psycho dog
and they growled at me when they took a walk
psycho girl
touch her lose touch with the world
psycho girl psycho girl
it's a psycho world oh
woe, oh woe woe woe
as if that weren't enough
her life was really fucked up
psycho girl just opened her mouth
a whole lot of interesting stuff came out
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The Girl Who Still Lives At Home
Something pretty bad happened to her long ago.
She clams up, she lost it, she'd rather be alone
lying on the bed with those stuffed animals at home.
Her old high school friends had all moved away.
When they see her now they don't know what to say.
They're so different now and she is practically the same.
She's the girl who still lives at home
she's left out and she's all alone
working at the taco stand, fighting with her mom and dad.
I can see her sitting in the living room
thinking of all of the things that she can't do
not as long as she is living underneath their roof
She's the girl who still lives at home
mom and dad sent her to her room
when they saw what she had done
now she's just a skeleton.
They say she's wasting away,
she just stares into space everyday
And you know she'd like to move away
be on her own and she says it everyday
she has plans to move away
but you know she's gonna stay that way
she's talking to her mom,
she needs some help in the kitchen
they're watching LA Law and cable television
she says it's not so bad,
you save a lot of money
and she heard what you said
but she's staring at nothing
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Send Me a Postcard
A postcard becomes a symbol of lost romance for two separated lovers.
Adult themes. No nudity. **1/2
Before loneliness will break my heart,
send me a postcard darling.
How can I make you understand?
I wanna be a woman.
Here, here I'm waiting for a little sign,
waiting 'til the end of time.
Send me a postcard darling.
Send me a poscard now.
Send me a postcard darling.
Send me a postcard now.
I can't take the lonely night,
I need someone I can turn to.
Look out the day I see a little sign,
even though you're on my mind.
Yeah, oh please don't let me down.
There ain't no lover like me in town.
Send me a postcard darling.
Send me a poscard now.
Send me a postcard darling.
Send me a postcard now.
Before loneliness will break my heart,
send me a postcard darling.
How can I make you understand?
I wanna be a woman.
Yeah, I'm waiting for a little sign,
waiting 'til the end of time.
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Untitled Spoken Word Piece
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but don't you wonder how they got in there?
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Now We Are 21
Now we are 21
Now we have to get things done
We can't watch Brady Bunch
We can't eat Captain Crunch
Aaaah!
When I was 17
I used to watch TV
but now I'm 21
I have to
get things done
every day we have to take
everything seriously
I just can't handle it
I still feel like a kid
When I was 10 years old
I didn't drink at all
But now I'm 21
and I drink way too much!
21 Now we are 21
We try but it's no use
Just lost our last excuse
And we'll be on the run
Now that we are 21
21 Now we are 21
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Danny Partridge Got Busted
I just read the news in the paper yesterday
Danny Bonaduce just got busted in L.A.
He used to be 10 years old now he's 25
busted for narcotics and he's facing 10 to life
"Danny Partridge Busted"
it happened just the other day
"Danny Partridge Busted"
now they're gonna lock him away
we'll never see his freckled face smiling anymore
they're gonna put him in a cell and doublelock the door
Shirley, Keith, and Reuben, I wonder where you are
next time you see Danny he'll be safely behind bars
and he got busted
it never happened to me
poor Danny
little Danny Partridge wasn't as innocent as he seemed
he finally found an outlet for his moneymaking schemes
I just can't believe it 'cause it seems so strange to me
the kid that we grew up with is a pusher on the street
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Marine Recruiter
Sgt. Smiles, marine recruiter
teach you to program computers
teach you all the skills you need
you can die with dignity
I got a phone call from the sergeant yesterday
he had a message from the good old U.S.A.:
"Good grades, high I.Q., you're one terrific guy
we'll let you push the buttons while the other people die."
no way, that's what I say
I don't want to be a marine today
Sgt. Smiles, marine recruiter
teach you to program computers
teach you all the skills you need
you can be a fucking pig
and that's why the sergeant smiles
everyday in high school when I got home
marine recruiters called me on the phone
oh god, never thought it would come to this
I get cards I get calls now I'm on the mailing list
Mom I'm not home if they call me on the phone
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Slagbag
That girl is fucking crazy
She's so god damn amazing
words are not enough
you know her from the paper
she comes in forty flavors
makes me want to throw up
You can say "but seriously folks..."
you can write her nasty notes
but you know you're gonna choke
anyway
After all you know she's just a SLAGBAG
Look at yourself, you know you're a SLAGBAG
How many times have you called her a SLAGBAG
What would you do if I called you a SLAGBAG
She thinks she's really something
but she is less than nothing
and there is no doubt
they said I should've known her
how she would fuck me over
but it's too late now
you could say she's good in bed
you could say she gives good head
but you know that you'll regret
everything
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Velveeta
Sugar-coated girlfriends don't mean anything to me
This song's about a girl who's soft and warm and cheap
when I held her close to me she melted right away
Velveeta was her name
Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...
All my friends keep telling me
"Frank, you must be sick.
How can you have fun with a gooey processed chick?"
But she's much more than that
she's got a heart of gold
and she does what she's told
Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...
I want to tell her that I'll never go away
but she keeps showing me her expiration date
Girls may come, girls may go, but I know one thing for sure
they stock Velveeta at the local grocery store
and she'll be on the shelf until the end of time
when we have to say goodbye
Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...
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A Zillion Years
It'll take a zillion years
that's a long time
we'll all be dead, past our prime
it'll cost a zillion dollars to pay the debt
and a zillion other details
that haven't been thought of yet.
A zillion years. I won't be waiting
A zillion years, that's a long long time
A zillion years. What are you waiting for?
A zillion years, that's a lot of lies.
It'll take a zillion years
that's over-kill
nothing ever changes, nothing ever will
a zillion cups of coffee in a zillion shaking hands
a zillion alcoholics, a zillion hardcore bands
You can take your quaaludes
you can drink your beers
you won't feel better in a zillion years
a zillion cups of coffee
a zillion bags of drugs
a zillion tubes of toothpaste still won't be enough.
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The History of the Concept of the Soul
Homer didn't have a comprehensive word for mind.
the psyche and the conscious self had not yet been combined.
He understood events as repetition of the past,
and individual consciousness was not a part of that.
But early Greek thought played a role in the complicate history
of the concept of the soul.1
By the time of Plato these ideas had taken shape.
The Phaedo and Timaeus are works which demonstrate
the consious separation of the knower from the known
and the dual nature of the body and the soul.
Modern thought was possible:
the complicated history of the concept of the soul.
Whoa!
Pythagoras and Orphic doctrines all came into play,
because Plato was a mystic in his own Platonic way.
The pre-Socratic Naturalists saw things in terms of "stuff".
But Plato's metaphysics showed that this was not enough.
This is the incredible complicated history of the concept of the soul.
Rock and roll.2
1 For an interesting discussion, see E.R Dodds,
The Greeks and the Irrational, Berkeley, 1953, pp. 45-150.
2 ibid.
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Flying Jelly Attack
I'm gonna eat jelly jelly jelly jelly
Jelly jelly jelly jelly beans
You're gonna eat cherry cherry cherry cherry cherry
Cherry cherry cherry cherry drops
I'm gonna eat jelly jelly jelly jelly
Jelly jelly jelly jelly beans
You're gonna eat cherry cherry cherry cherry
Cherry cherry cherry cherry drops
Ooh, flying jelly beans, throwing them to you
Ooh, crashing cherry drops, breaking right in two
When it gets dangerous
Call out for a rescue
Somebody might hear you calling
And come to help you soon
Ooh they crash into each other, jelly beans
Eating them and throwing them
forever cherry drops
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