The Mystery Experience
From Mike, Matt, and Anthony, November 1995
On Nov. 10th 1995, a Friday night, I had the immense pleasure of seeing the great Mr. T Experience, an amazing three piece, Bay Area band from Lookout! records, at the Whiskey A Go Go in Hollywood. Afterward the pleasure was extended when a few friends (Dr. Anthony Cosmo, Laundromatt, and Catrina Immature) and myself (Mike Immature) were allowed to go up to the lounge and have a wild orgy with two of the band members. Being the genius I am, I forgot my camera, but anyway, the moans and screams went something like this:
Mike: Okay, lets start with names and instruments.
Dr Frank: Dr Frank, guitar and singing...vocals. And Joel...
Joel: Bass and kinda back up singing. And I guess Jim, our illustrious third member, who's absent.
M: Jym's new isn't he?
J: Not as new as me.
Dr. F: Jym's been playing with us for about two years. Joel's with us since January.
M: (To Joel) So you haven't even recorded a full album yet?
J: We sure have.. Frank, why don't you tell the story?
Dr. F: Our new record we just finished comes out in January. (I hand him the recorder and we go through a huge ordeal trying to work it) Our new album, LOVE IS DEAD, on Lookout records comes out in January and we just finished recording it and it's the first Lp that Joel and Jim played on of the Mr. T Experience.
J: A labor of love. Blood, sweat and tears.
Dr. F: Yes, it was a growing experience.
J: I feel we all learned a little.
Dr. F: We learned something..
J: About life.
Dr. F: Bringing it in to the world and I feel we're better people for it. We're pretty self actualized these days, so I should warn you.
J: I think the whole world can benefit from...
Dr. F: Dianetics. Yes, I agree. So what else do you want to ask about?
M: Over the years, Ive noticed your Style has changed a bit. I guess this is for you (Dr. Frank). Is it from being more talented, or is it because you are better musicians?
Dr. F: Well, it's interesting to say the style has changed. I don't really think of it that way. At first we just weren't able to do it that well. My intention was always to make a.. basically a cross between the Buzzcocks and the Ramones, but it didn't ever really come out that way, because we werent talented enough to accomplish it. and so it turned out to be something else. And we had some, pardon my french, some fuck-up in the band who didn't know how to play. But now we can do what we want to do. And ironically, there are a lot of people who like the old inept band to the current, more ept..
J: Barely ept. but we try to.
Dr. F: But the style, in my idea hasn't changed. The thing that has changed is the song writing has gotten better because I started trying harder. That's one thing I can say for sure. And we got a good drummer now, that makes a huge difference.
M: What would a dream date with Dr. Frank be like?
Dr. F: Well..(a girl walks in and Frank looks afraid to answer the question. We stall until she leaves) Geez, I think that that question is not probably asked of the...
J: I can answer that. I think a dream date with Dr. Frank..
M: Or a dream date with Joel.
J: No, I mean now you are changing the rules. We can answer for one another. I think that a quiet evening with Frank, candle light dinner, microwave Stouffer's lean cuisine, cable TV, Bud Light.
M: A serenade on the guitar? A walk on the beach?
J: No, I think just... Baywatch
Dr. F: Uncanny. The boy knows me like a book. I pretty much think the same goes for Joel.
M: If someone asked you what your band sounded like, what would you say?
J: ah, Good.
M: No i mean, like...
J: Oh, if somebody asked me what my band sounded like I'd say..."duh"
Dr. F: It kinda goes "1,2,3,4 Garr raa(a bunch or guitar sounds impossible to capture in type) This is a song about a girl (more guitar noise)."
M: If your grandma asked you what kind of band you are in, what would you say?
J: My grandma still thinks Im going to school.
Dr. F: You say a punk rock band and they say, "oh dear, how can you stand those people?"
M: And for people in the scene would you say a cross between The Ramones and The Buzzcocks?
Dr. F: You know, I don't think that's really what we sound like. But that was always the general intention. I don't know what it's like... thats a really hard question to answer. It's not like wer'e really unique or anything, there's lots of bands that play pop songs, thats for sure. This is just the one that we do.
M: Somebody told me the other day that you are going to be covering the fourth Ramones album, Road to Ruin.
Dr. F: Yeah.
M: When is that going to come out?
Dr. F: Well, we havent done it yet. Our plan is to record it in December and it will come out a couple months later probably. We're sort of stalling on it.
J: You have excellent sources though.
Dr. F: We haven't learned all the songs yet.
M: I was kind of hoping you guys would play some tonight.
Dr. F: We do sometimes. You can't play them all every time.
M: You can sing capella in the recorder...
J: We've sorta been contemplating the idea of melodies. Combining our songs...
Dr. F: Lance from J Church advised me that if we did a melody of the old favorites, that we could take care of the right away and then move on to the other stuff. And that's what J Church does apparently. It's kind of vagary. I raised the issue with these guys and we all decided that's way to much trouble.
J: To much hard work.
Dr. F: More trouble than it's worth. So we just end up playing as many songs as we can and accept that there are people that are going to be bitter disappointed 'cause we didn't play their favorite song. Maybe even belligerent and angry. Violent and dangerous.
J: Stony stares at the back of our heads.
Dr. F: You just have to live with it.
M: Yeh, I wasn't staring, but I was yelling Sex Offender for a long time, and you made me really happy. So thanks a lot..
Dr. F: One of those rare times at it all comes together and Wow. When that happens you got it all.
M: Do you guys have any idea what gravy boat is?
J: A gravy boat?
Dr. F: Yes.
M: No, not the Thanksgiving kind of gravy boat. Okay, a gravy boat is when a person shits down their partners throat. It's a bit gross, but some people..
Dr. F: Really?...
J: (Joel blushes) You can put in parties that I am blushing.
Dr. F: Joel's tender ears... My tender ears. My God, man.
M: Well the question is, if a girl asked you to give her a gravy boat, would you?
Dr. F: I don't even like talking about it.
J: Call me old fashion, but..No.
Dr. F: It's not hip these days to say it, but I'll come right out and say it: "Ick".
M: Don't worry, this interview would have been over if you had said yes..
Dr. F: We could have said, "Is that a serious offer?"
J: You asking?
M: ah....no. Next question. How do you guys feel about the whole punk rock trend? Bands like Green Day and Offspring are all big. And now kids on the football team, Screeching Weasel is their favorite band.
Dr. F: That phenomenon you just described happens to punk rock every five years. It's happened to rock n roll... I mean, I'm torn between saying that's just the way it is, grow up and except it. Now there will be other dumb little bands that will take the place of the big bands, because people want to feel elitist and self satisfied. On the other hand, I hate all those people as much as everybody else does. And I really wouldn't mind if... Basically, I kinda would just like to be the only person left on the planet, get rid of everybody else, just me and a good looking woman, a satellite dish, and maybe a dog. Then I'd be happy.
J: I think what Frank's to say it that: this a Sticky Wicket.
Dr. F: That's what I was reaching for. The word, Sticky. And the word: Wicket. Combined.
M: I've never heard that phrase before, you'll have to elaborate on that.
Dr. F: Well it's kinda like gravy boat, except...
J: If a girl asks you to give her a sticky wicket...
Dr. F: Run!
J: Screaming.
Dr. F: What I mean is that I'm torn between despising the impulse of elitism and wanting to be an elitist. This is and unresolvable quandary. So...
J: You're a complex man.
Dr. F (laughs): Yeh, so I don't know..
J: Quandary. Q-U-A-N-D-A-R-Y.
Dr. F: Yeh that's the one with two humps, I think.
J: Like the girl. If she asks you to engage her in a quandary...
Dr. F: Run from the room. But frankly, you know, it's a help to the unsuccessful bands like us that there are successful ones playing the same kind of music, because it's sort of a third hand to get shows. Both of them: The trickle down effect.
J: And it certain is hard to be bitter at your own fans whether or not they're Johnny Come-lately. It's a lot easier to step back and play punker than that. It's a sticky wicket.
Dr. F: Sticky Wicket, I think that describes it.
M: So you don't want to be to cool or to punk for everybody, but...
Dr. F: We'll you see the phrase comes from the British game of cricket. And as I understand it you're supposed to.. it's this crazy version of baseball where you, have to hit the ball into this.. ah, yes. Geek Anthony (Frank calls on Anthony with his hand up): Baseball is actually a version of cricket.
Dr. F: I stand corrected by the young man in the leather jacket and The Potatomen button. Well which ever came first, the cricket or the baseball. What you're supposed to do his hit the ball into this thing called a wicket, I don't know, and if it's sticky it's a lot harder to do.
J: We understand you very well, give yourself more credit.
Dr. F: I don't really understand the... I'm not a sports guy.
J: Yeh, I know, neither of us are very athletic.
Dr. F: But what it means it "oh, boy that's a tough one, I couldn't tell ya."
M: (I realize we did not introduce ourselves, so I give off our names. I still don't know why, I guess it was the talking about sports, I introduced Matt and let it be known that he played high school football, which we haven't done for a long time. I'm sorry Matt).
Dr. F: (to Matt) Oh really, so you're no stranger to the word, "Touchdown".
Geek Matt: I never made one.
Geek Mike: Could you guys ever see you're selves on a major label?
J: I can't see one wanting us.
Dr. F: No, nah. What would that mean? There would some damage to the space time continuum, and we would all have tails or something, it would terrible, horrible.
J: We would rip apart..
Both of them: The very fabric of reality..
Dr. F: As we know it. So, yes, let's just not even think about it. It's to terrifying, to unspeakable to contemplate. A little chill there.
M: Do you guys like being on Lookout then?
Dr. F: Yeh, it's like you're folks. It's hard to move out, sometimes you just want to keep living at home forever. No matter how many bad records you make, they'll always let you make another one. It's a beauty to that. You can't fault them for that.
J: I like being on Lookout. You might even say I have a trench of pride. If we had warm up jackets, I'd probably wear one. If we had a softball team that played other indie labels, I'd probably play on it.
Dr. F: We would lose.
J: Yeh, us against SST..
Dr. F: But Ben Weasel could beat up the other team if they started to get ahead.
J: Ben Weasel would get dust on the umpire.
Geek Anthony: That's a funny thought.
M: Everything I hear about this guy is so bad.
J: Ben's a sweetheart.
Dr. F: But he's got a mean left hook.
M: Are you sure you're not saying that so he doesn't kick your ass.
J: That's a sticky wicket.
M: You guys have the occasional surfy, instrumental song. Is the because.. just because or do you listen to surf and spy-tech, aside from the Hi-Fives, of coarse.
Dr. F: I like surf music, I like guitar instrumental like Link Ray. But we don't play like that, it's just no in us. Our instrumental songs are songs I can't think of words for. And it comes time to record, so we play them as instrumental.
M: What about like Surfin' Cow?
Dr. F: That was Jon's song.
J: I pretty sure the two you're think of were written be Jon Von, but we do actually have another instrumental we just did.
M: Like Bridge of Taribithia?
Dr. F: That one, there were word to it, but they weren't that good. Actually, that song wasn't originally supposed to be a guitar song, but I wanted to try and find some little kids to go "La la la la la (to the tune of that song)", but it'd work out.
J: It would have sounded like the Smurfs's. But in a good way, I like the Smurfs''s.
M: What were you guys like in high school?
J: Ah, what you see is what you get.
Dr. F: Yeah, as you see me now.
M: Geeks?
Both of them: Nah. Hey. Wait a minute.
M: Well that's the name of the fanzine, Geek America. (there's lots of chaos about geeks, dorks, and "I'm not a...")
Dr. F: Ah, hah, now we see an alterative agenda.
J: I don't claim any kinship to you..dweeb. I was cool in high school, I swear.
Dr. F: He's probably correct. I don't really remember high school, I blocked it out of my life.
J: High school isn't that far behind me.
M: How old are you?
J: I'm...12. Plus....
Dr. F: I am his legal guardian. The state has remained him to me to..
M: Like a Woody Allen, legal guardian?
J: Frank, is actually old enough to be my actual biological father.
M: How old you, Frank?
Dr. F: 31 (Anthony and myself try and do the math)
J: I am at the legal age of consent.
M: But under legal drinking age...?
J: Absolutely, but you ever see me in your local tavern or club.. I am 23. And if you don't I'm 18.
Geek Matt: Did Joel and Jim play on the song on the Kill the Rock Stars comp.?
J: Yes, I did. We recorded five songs before the Lp with the current line up. To of them ended up on the vinyl issue of the Altetative Is Here To Say/ New Girl Friend single, the third was a bonus track on the CD of that same release, one is on a English import spilt 7" with Goober Patrol, and last is the Slice of Lemon/ Kill the Rock Stars. Everything else we recorded is going to be on the new Lp, Love Is Dead, which is 16 previously unreleased songs. That's pretty much exsasted most of the catalog, but Frank is most prolific and is coming up with new gems every day.
Dr. F: I have nothing better to do.
Geek Anthony: How do you guys feel about your new record? Do like it as much as the others?
J: It's pretty good.
Dr. F: Get it and see what you think. It's hard to say, but it's pretty good.
J: My parents, I gave them a copy and they listened to it. And my father told me he was very proud of me.
GA: Are they supportive?
J: My parents are bedding punk rockers. They come and sell merchandise at shows, they're doing a promotional blitz for a show the show we're playing in my home town on this tour. I very glad they are supportive of me because it would make it a lot harder if they weren't. I know that others people's parents are always to understanding that they're children want to be in punk rock bands. And take you out of collage to tour. I'm lucky to have such loving and caring, forward thinking folks as mine. So mom and dad, if you're reading this...thank you. (long silence by everybody) And if that's not geeky enough...
M: Geeze, after an I love you mom and dad...
Dr. F: Yeah, what more can you say.
M: Despite the perfect time to end the long interview I got one more, when we were talking earlier I got the impression that you guys don't think much of the LA scene..?
Dr. F: Well, no, we....
M: I know that you didn't say it, but..
J: You can tell it was in my eyes, yeah. Well all I can say is I've been all around this great big world, well.. at least this great big nation, and you see the kids that look pretty much the same in every town. They're always have the Fat Records (I refurse to spell "record" the way they do) T-shirts that's a couple sizes to big, and they have they're Airwalks and backward baseball caps and chain wallets. It's kind of comforting to be able to cruse into any town and see the little people hanging out in front of they're little club, looking exactly the same. But there are still two places in America that people still care about their parents and have little bit of flare and are stand apart from the back are New York and Los Angeles. So can give you all credit for straying from the flock when it comes to.. you're aesthetic.
M: Actually, we're not even LA kids, we're Orange County. We're the white bread kids. We're the suburbanites.
Dr. F: Yeah I noticed none of you were transvestites, unless. (he points to Catrina. Everybody laughs for a while) So yeah, so clearly, the suburban kids..
J: There are no vinyl pants in this room,
M: Exactly, and that's all I gotta say.
J: You can write to us at 48 Shattuck Sq. #48, Berkeley, CA 94704 and we'll write you back. And don't let anything happen to you guys because we can't afford to loose anybody who's even slightly interested in us.
Dr. F: And my final words are: Love is like oxygen. If you get too much, you get too high. Not enough and you're gonna die. Love get's you high.
(The Mr. T Experience would also like you to know they order milk for after every show because they are a healthy band and a healthy band is a good band.)